application;

[exacerbation]

cynicism isn't wisdom
it's a lazy way to say that you've been burned
it seems, if anything, you'd be less certain
after everything you ever learned

GENERAL

NAME: Jonah Jocelyn Pitchford
NICKNAMES: Jonah's dad is a nicknamer, and as a result, his family has, at various times, called him any/all of the following: Jojo, Jono, JJ, Juice, Joop, Jonie, Spumoni, Spud, Spuddy, The Boy, and "Jesus Christ, Jonah!"
AGE/DOB: 17 / October 15.
BLOOD STATUS: Half-Blood.
GENDER/PRONOUNS: Male, he/him.
SEXUALITY: Anything with a pulse.
HOMETOWN: Great St Bernard Hospice, NH. A moderately sized wizarding city near the Canadian border with population approx. 60,000. It's most commonly referred to as simply "St Bernard" and is known for its syrups, maple and otherwise. Jonah occasionally takes this one step further and calls it "Bernie's," which is a real locals-only move.

CONCEPT: Proto-healer still unfamiliar with the concept of "Do No Harm."

PHYSICAL

APPEARANCE: Knows he's supposed to give a shit, but also would absolutely live in tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie if he could. Gets halfway through an outfit and then gives up. The result is a very lazy mishmash that almost passes for a unique style. Almost. Like, maybe today he's wearing a tie or a nice hat or blazer, but there's definitely a t-shirt underneath. In uniform, he's nearly presentable. He's not gonna shine his shoes for you, but at least he wears it every day, mostly. Sort of. Okay, sometimes he loses points for this.

HEIGHT: 5'9"

PB: Roshon Fegan

PERSONALITY

LIKES: stinky cheese, breaking things on purpose, dressing for comfort, diet soda, fancying himself a healer even though he knows absolutely nothing about anything, taekwando, his sister, ugly Christmas trees, the company of competent people, Stu ‐ the octogenarian who always comes to Jonah's bingo halls and tries to sell him individual cigarettes

DISLIKES: babies, children, teens, the elderly, breaking things accidentally, getting caught smiling, time-wasters, fussiness, watching people cry, feeling helpless

PERSONALITY:

People can't help but compare Jonah with his sister. That's fine. He doesn't mind. He likes to think he can hold his own. But regardless, it's clear that there are certain aspects of his personality that are thrown into sharp relief mostly because they're illuminated by JD: he is, undeniably, less driven, less polished, less nice.

As a matter of fact, most people notice Jonah's negative traits first... and to be fair to them, said traits are plentiful.

Stubborn and honestly, a little abrasive, Jonah is quick to react — the kind of person who will fight with their teacher even though it's obviously not in his best interest, because he's sure that he's right. It's not that he's bad at receiving criticism — he's actually fairly clear-sighted about his own flaws and is happy to work on them when he needs to — but Jonah has a strong sense of self, and a stronger moral compass, and if he truly believes that something is incorrect, unjust, inappropriate, or just wrong somehow, he's unlikely to back down. In some ways, that makes him extremely annoying — the last person you'd ever want on a diplomatic mission — but even those who find him aggravating have to concede he's honourable, in his way. A fish that's willing to swim upstream, when the time was right.

Which isn't to say that he picks fights. Jonah is neither aggressive, nor a bully... although he is something of a smart aleck. It'd be fair to call him critical, and more than a little cantankerous. Friends will know better than to take it personally. Jonah was just born in a bit of a bad mood — not explosively foul-tempered, but like... maybe his soul needs a good burp.

Luckily, he's got a sense of humour under all that gas. Some of the grouching is affectation; nihilism is protective, after all. It's harder to be disappointed if you've given up on everyone and everything before you even begin.

See, deep down, under all the cynicism and stinky cheese, Jonah is... something of an optimist. He hates it and does everything he can to squash it, but that ever-present hope often bobs to the surface. Jonah isn't exactly a sensitive soul; daily insults and indignities don't phase him much. But when it comes to real suffering, he can't help but sympathize. He can't bear to see tears. Observant and, god help him, compassionate, Jonah spots distress more often than he likes, and once it's on his radar, he'll do whatever he can to solve the problem.

And if he's blunt, it's because he believes honesty can make a positive difference. Sometimes, he's correct, and he can be the perfect right person in situations that need quick fixes or tough love. Spinach in your teeth? Look, you can clean it now. Unfortunately, this is a trait that could also trend towards paternalistic and/or sanctimonious if it's not nipped in the butt quick.

In short, Jonah is not the type of person that immediately makes people think "care-taking profession." And if above multitude of personality flaws weren't bad enough, he's also ... proprioceptively challenged. Clumsy. He never seems to know where his body is in space; he has a tendency to bump into shit, knock things off shelves. JD is always afraid he'll drop the cat. It's not egregious. He's not a total bull in a china shop — just a little less than coordinated — but things do have a tendency to get broken, rather than repaired, in his presence. Hell, even his wand seems to prefer offensive, destructive magic over charms like Reparo.

Luckily, some things can be taught. It's why, despite his natural gracelessness, he's competent at a fair number of sports. Jonah knows how to work, has been busy his whole life, and by the way, just because he's not JD doesn't mean that he's lazy. If you asked him, he'd tell you that he's just not as appearance-obsessed. That's why his notes are uglier and his outfits are worse. And he's not wrong; you can't call him shallow. But... he's also sort of lazy.

So, tl;dr: When he becomes a healer — if he becomes a healer — Jonah is likely to be the sort to insult the patient, piss off the family, work for hours and hours on the case, and then, in the end... have to be pulled off their chest.

(... and lastly, despite basically being the personification of stinklines, Jonah has had a fair number or relationships, because he's extremely easy and always down to kiss. Because he's libidinous and disgusting. Teenagers are libidinous and disgusting.)

SKILLS

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: English

PATRONUS: A crab; he cannot cast it.

SKILLS:

Life at the Pitchford's is exquisitely scheduled in keeping with their dads' two-part philosophy: first, that families are happiest when they're busy, and second, that twins should be allowed — nay, pushed — to forge separate identities. This means that JD and Jonah were up to their teeth in Activities™, none of which overlapped. It took incredible time-keeping to get them to their respective lessons and their dads are to be congratulated.

• Baby Jonah was signed up for the very popular "Toddler Tumbling" class, which, as he got older, became gymnastics lessons. He was on the local boy's team for six years, got exactly good enough to be competitive, and then promptly quit. He liked messing around on the pommel horse, but he had no intention of becoming a Gymnastics Kid, and he refused to go to drop his other hobbies so that he could spend more time on the sport.


• Now that he's at Gooseberry, the vestiges of his skill have translated to a spot on the Ribbonfin cheer team. He's not naturally encouraging, and it's a very bad fit. But he can do a cartwheel, so whatever.


• When Jonah was a young kid, he was ever-so-slightly dyspraxic, and so his dads signed him up for taekwondo as a way to firm up his coordination. He's still clumsy, but now, he's clumsy with a 1st dan black belt. If he had to pick a single Activity™, he'd probably go with taekwondo, and he still goes to his dojo three times a week when he's home on vacation. Someday, someone at school will ask him to break a board and then it will all be worth it.


• Break a board intentionally, although, like, breaking things in general should probably be on his skill list. Its merit may be questionable, but he's undeniably good at dropping shit.


• Once Jonah decided he wanted to be a healer when he grew up (circa 13), he started to volunteer at the renowned Great Great St. Bernard's Hospice Hospice as, essentially, a candy striper. This was supposed to teach him to be selfless and compassionate, but actually, it taught him to be really good at running a Bingo hall, because that's what he does every week in the name of patient care.


• Thankfully, the GGSBHH is an adult facility, because making babies cry also belongs on his skill list.


• Also, and this is not a joke, Jonah really likes cheese. He's something of a maître fromager, and has strong opinions about stuff like the relative merits of clothbound cheddars by region. This is not something his dads encouraged or signed him up for. He just has a naturally refined palate and an appreciation of the intersection between microbiology and dairy. He subscribes to the Smellier Is Better school of cheese philosophy, and spoiler alert, when he's an adult, his kitchen will smell exactly like a gym sock.

HISTORY

FAMILY MEMBERS:

Alexander Pitchford (nee Parsons), 46, Ilvermorny alum (Horned Serpent). Makes his money as a crime novelist. Spends his time shepherding children. Someone please stage an intervention, because his nicknaming habit is out of control.
Lyle Pitchford, 47, Ilvermorny alum (Pukwudgie). Big biceps boy. Professional personal trainer and eternal soft touch.
Betsy Pitchford, older sister, 26, Gooseberry alum (Ebonhide). One of the many former wild-children who found a home in Quidditch. Spent three years on the Gooseberry team, now works as a publicist for North American Quiddicth League
JD Pitchford, twin sister, 17, Ribbonfin Junior. The other one.
Davey Pitchford, younger brother, 9. Living on easy street.

HISTORY:

Jonah and Janet were born October 15th. After that, the story gets fuzzy for a while.

His mother passed, that much they know, and the rest of the family couldn't cope. The twins were taken into care for a while and then put up for adoption. Jonah doesn't remember any of it. By the time he was a year old, they both were safely in their adoptive fathers' arms, and that was the end of that. The Pitchfords are the only family Jonah has ever known, ever wanted, ever thought about. He has no curiosity about that funny first year.

In fact, the twins aren't even sure who was born first. Growing up, their dads told them they were born at the same time, holding hands — which made perfect sense to them, until it didn't. But even after realising the biological improbability, neither JD nor Jonah cared enough to figure out who was older. Personally, Jonah can't imagine it would matter all that much.

Life as a Pitchford was non-stop, more or less from the get-go. Jonah went to baby sign language classes (all long since forgotten), baby music appreciation classes (none of it stuck), daddy and me baby bonding classes (that one, at least, probably had an effect)... the works. It was a pretty big shift from how their older sister, Betsy, was raised; as first time parents, Alexander and Lyle and wanted nothing more than to be liked by their daughter, and so, they'd been pretty permissive with just about everything. Betsy, who is a lovely and put-together adult, had had a couple of wild years there as a teen, and so, on their second try, Jonah's dads took a hard left into Scheduleville.

Jonah had at least 4 official activities per week, and almost none of them were with his sister. His dads were pretty clear about why; they wanted the two of them to forge independent identities. It's fair and valid and Jonah gets it, even if he always missed his sister. They're close, very close, and sometimes he worries that someone will try and separate them for some reason. He'd hate that. People sometimes think he and JD are like apples and oranges, and maybe they are, but ... hey. Both fruit.

Maybe that's why they've always been sorted together at school, first into Thunderbird at Ilvermorny, then into Ribbonfin. Their elementary school, a private day school in St. Bernard's, didn't have a housing system, or else they'd probably have been together there, too.

School days were mostly uneventful for Jonah; the twins adopted their cat, Walter, on their 8th birthday, and that was probably the biggest event in his first decade. Their brother Davey came into their lives just before they started at Ilvermorny, and was formally adopted while they were away at school. It... didn't have as much of an impact on Jonah as it should have. He loves his brother, but he feels like he doesn't know him that well. It would bother him, if he let himself think about it.

Betsy was one of of Gooseberry's first graduates, so it was natural that the twins would transfer too. In addition to being a legacy family, both were strong students with perfect application stories. By this time, Jonah had decided he'd become a healer when he grew up — he needed something better than an absent shrug, especially once JD found politics and law — and it tied up his story with a nice little bow. They were accepted handily and started their freshman year.

Jonah slept through the events of the endgame, but at this point, it's hard to miss what's been going on. He doesn't know what to think of these Strangers, but if they try to take his sister's shape, he's pretty sure he'll know the difference.

SCHOOL

YEAR: Junior (Grade 11)
HOUSE: Ribblefibble, former Thunderbird
SORTING:

Coppertale might've had a claim to him, but "Janet" comes before "Jonah" and once his sister was sorted, well. That's where he was sure to follow.

No one would ever call Jonah a diplomat, but he makes a pretty good Ribbonfin nonetheless. Fair, forgiving, and steady, with a sixth sense for interpersonal issues despite adamant claims not to be interested in bullshit, he has all the trappings of a good trout. Sure, he's somewhat dyspeptic, but he's more of a slow-simmering acid burn than your typical Coppertale hothead. He's not a perfectionist, and he's certainly no poet; Ebonhides get his eyes rolling faster than most. And while Jonah's had more than his fair share of misadventures and teen dalliances, the rest of Azurcrest's zany spirit never materialised. Regardless of his twin, Ribbonfin was the right choice. Maybe he'll even learn a little something about bedside manner before he graduates.

WAND: Bog yew with bog oak & selkie scale core, 14 1/4", snappy. JD and Jonah's wands are twin creations, and cored in part with wood from the other's wand. Made of thousand-year-old bog wood, they were produced by the Beauvais company, and are graceless but powerful tools of magic. Jonah's has a tendency towards the destructive.

FAMILIAR:

Sometimes, Jonah tells people he's a triplet and yes, he is talking about the Pitchford's handsome little man, Walter. He's been thinking about getting a Slinx but until then, he improvises with his sweater vest and hoodies; on cold days, Walter can reliably be found riding under his shirt. It makes Jonah look like he's pregnant with the world's lumpiest baby.

CLASSES: Charms, Herbology, History of Magic, Potions, Transfiguration, Magical Rudiments, DADA, Pre-healer.
ADVANCED STUDY: Pre-healer studies.
SENIOR PROJECT: Hello, junior. What do you want from him?
ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE:

Jonah is a strong student — not at the top of the class, but still doing well enough that no one sniggers at his hopes of becoming a healer. Or at least, if they do, it's not because of his grades. He could be doing better, but he's a little lazy, and it's only that abstract aspiration + his desire to keep pace with his sister that keeps those A-'s on his transcript.

Jonah would say his favourite class is Pre-Healer studies. This is his goal, and he likes making progress toward it. He even likes the content of the class itself, he thinks. The practical element sometimes trips him up, though — he's not used to having to do things to do well in a class, and that's stressful. If he fumbles something in class that day, he might find himself wondering if he prefers Charms instead.

His least favourite class is Magical Rudiments. Home Ec? Seriously? Jonah only signed up for this class because JD suggested it, and just being there pisses him off. For fuck's sake, he knows how to sew a button, JD-and-by-extension-Prospero. Christ. He'd probably be a lot mouthier during class, except it's kind of hard to be a shithead to Prospero. They're all lucky.

EXTRACURRICULARS: D&F, Gardening, Cheer. Jonah mostly attends D&F on duelling days, and he's not bad for a casual. He's especially good with hexes.

OOC

NAME: cam
EMAIL: captainkickflips @ gmail
CDJ: ~funnylookingkid
OTHER PREFERRED CONTACT: drop box pls
TIME ZONE: gmt :(